sadness

I have thought so many times in the last few months that I am so glad I am here.

And, indeed, I am.

This is the place I want to be and quite honestly I can't see myself living anywhere else right now.

But at the same time, it is so painful.

I just went on facebook and now I am bawling like a baby.

I miss my friends.

I miss my family.

I really miss seeing my kids with their friends.

I hate seeing how everyone is growing up and we are not a part of it (in the physical proximity sense).

I just saw the coolest picture of my nephew throwing a ball.

I miss my nephews and their antics.

I miss all the cousins being together.

I miss my sister-in-law and laughing with her.

I saw all of Maddy's friends all together,

all looking so grown up,

and I'm so sad that she is not there with them.

I saw one of my bestest friends and her kids playing in the leaves.

I miss the fall.

I miss the leaves.

But I really miss seeing those kids

and their wonderful momma.

I saw my brother in law.

I enjoy him so much.

I want to goof around with him.

Yet in all this, I know we are supposed to be here.

I want to be here.

But why can't we be there too?