Saturday, April 20, 2013
I can't honestly say that life has been super fun lately. Not that that should really be the goal. I mean, it is good to have fun and you certainly want to make things fun when possible and appropriate, but sometimes real life happens and its okay if we aren't having a ball all the time.
Although I can't say I don't wish I was having more of a ball (hmmmm, that sounds awfully odd).
There are a lot of things up in the air. There are a lot of people who are wondering what is happening, where God is directing them, what they should do and all that not-so-super-fun stuff.
The ministry of Education here in Ecuador has told Alliance - the school where the kids go and I work (and many North Americans work as missionaries) - that it will come under their umbrella. It isn't yet - but it will (unless God does something crazy). This brings a lot of potential changes. One of these changes that it is bringing for sure is that many of the North American teachers have to completely change the method by which they are here financially. The whole thing is pretty complicated and I won't bore you with the details. Needless to say (or many it does need to be said), many people are leaving.
Several of the changes that are happening also affect my work there, the potential for my working there in the future and the potential for us being able to afford to send out kids there. That means possible changes for us too. And waiting to see what God is doing with those changes - how He wants to direct, where He wants us to be, if He wants changes for us or if He wants us to plod along here - is not fun.
I usually think, and it seems true in the situation, that I can handle (with His strength and all) what He brings and where He directs us. What I can't handle (or rather, don't handle well because I need to seek His help every second for patience) is waiting. And right now, we are waiting.
I HATE WAITING!!!!
Since I seem to have not grown in this area at all in my 43 years, God is providing more opportunity.
Worry doesn't seem to by my issue. I know He's got it all under control. I know He has plans for good and He will direct us. I know that He will show us His will and purposes . But it is in His time.... and that is the part I'm not that keen on. Oh Lord, help me to be patient.
Currently all of this chaos is having an effect on the kids as well. One of the kids wants to live in North America again. Done. I think since we decided that we were taking a longer furlough and spending a semester in Manitoba, this child felt that was as good as moving back. When we talk about coming back after that time, they get very upset. They want to be with their cousins (either set/side). They want to live in a neighborhood where they can go out and play, ride bikes around, feel safe. And this child wants the comfort of quiet.... not the constantly noisy streets of Quito. My lovely child has been acting out a lot lately and in talking with them, this is what is bothering them. This child says that they hates it when we talk about coming back to Ecuador.
But then there is another child. If we at all entertain the idea of staying longer than a semester in North America, they get tense. This is home now. This is where they want to be. Sure, they love the cousins and friends. This child loves some of the freedoms and comforts. They want to be with all of the people they love there.... but home is here. (and right now, tension is at it's highest - Eric is gone for 10 days and this child is a mess every time he is gone. Every week when he goes away for a night... fears sky rocket. And gone for 10 days - forget it. Daddy is the protector - "He was a police officer. He knows how to take care of us." The upside is that we have a lot of opportunities to pray together and talk about asking God to help turn our fears into faith.)
The other two? It depends on the day. Me? It depends on the hour (or maybe minute). Eric? It depends on the second. Okay - that last one isn't true.... but he isn't settled either.
So yes, life is not super fun right now. What it is is super challenging and in that challenge I hope and pray there is a whole lot of growth - patience, trust, surrendering our wills, and all that.
And while we wait, I have a lot of piles going as I pack (because we have to move out of our house regardless but the end of June): sell, keep regardless, give away (a few different piles there), throw away, keep for teaching Home Ec. (if we are here), keep if we stay/sell if we go. I know you are jealous of my organized chaos.
But wait - I actually didn't intend to do all of that babbling (can you call it babbling when you are actually writing? is that merely a verbal term? am I babbling again?). I did mean to tell about some super fun things. Such as celebrating Mia's birthday on four different occasions.
The first one - her real birthday, I didn't get to enjoy with her. It was so sad to not be with her on her birthday but alas, she stayed in the jungle, I had to come back to Quito (all that info should be up soon in another entry). Then there was a little one when she got back from the jungle. Then we went out for dinner for her birthday. Then I realized two weeks later that we never even sang to her or gave her a birthday present. What kind of lame mother am I anyhow? Don't answer that.... So, we celebrated again. Very short, sort of sweet (very sweet, in terms of it being Mia).
Pizza, cup cakes and a gift (cash - the best gift to give when you are purging, moving and going to North America in two months!).
There also have been a few fun things going on at school. Like a hat parade!!
The elementary kids were supposed to make a hat that illustrated a word. There were different categories like longest word, shortest word, happiest, most ridiculous, etc. Cade was going to do the longest word but he lazied-out (at least that is what it seemed like his reasoning was). Mia is a sixth grader (need I say more - no sixth graders would, you know.... and if fact they didn't). Lucy did do a hat. "Heart" was her word. Word selection - not a shocker. Word category - don't remember (not a shocker either). But she did it all on her own and was as cute as a button (ever wonder where in the world that expression came from?).
She wasn't enjoying me taking pictures of her. It did provide entertainment for some of Mia's friends however, as they tried to get Lucy to look at me. No prizes for Lu but that is okay....
It still was super fun.