Wednesday, September 21, 2011

little old ladies


This is something God keeps hammering in me over and over and over.
It is something I have prayed for over and over and over.

For years I've asked the Lord to grow me into one of these women who is constantly praying.  
I want to be one of those little old women (not that I've prayed for the little and old parts....) in the church who is in their house praying like crazy for everything and everyone.  

A prayer warrior.
Lots of work - no glory.  
Not something I normally seek, but something I want to seek.

Over the many years, I have known that prayer is an absolute cornerstone of my faith and growth in Christ.  People say prayer is powerful.  I'm not a big fan of that.  Prayer isn't - God is.  But He chooses to release His power based on our faith and dedication as seen in our prayers.  Our prayers are just words, but when they are coupled with the Holy Spirit's direction and God's will - amazing things happen.
It is overwhelming to think that the All Powerful God allows us to come directly to Him, talk to Him with boldness and make requests.  We are not even worth coming directly to Him to praise Him but yet He not only allows it - He relishes it.
If an ant started singing my praises, I wouldn't think much of it, yet the vastness between an ant and myself is nothing compared to the vastness between me and God.
And He loves it, desires it - my talking to Him.

So why is it such a struggle?

Again, God is at me about prayer.  And I am so thankful.  From the new ever-present reminder painted 
 on the wall,

to a new reminder chalked up on the board,
 conversations with my mom and with my wonderful walking-and-praying-Tuesday-mornings-partner, Katie, books He has drawn me to read (such as "When Mothers Pray" - which makes me chuckle since I know that my mother prays for me soooo much and this whole thing I'm sure is an answer to her prayers for me!  Thanks mom!) I am overwhelmed with God's persistence to get me to pray.  
Throughout doing regular-day stuff.
During set-aside for prayer times.

It makes me thankful, in a weird and twistedish sort of way, for the yuckiness that we are going through in ministry (sorry, can't go into it....just pray for us and the situation, please)  and the frustration and pain I am having personal with the return of my migraines and headaches.
With having little that I am able to do - even though my list is very, very long - I am left with laying on the couch.  I can do light reading and light work on the computer, but I can do heavy praying.

So I am, as of today, thankful for my pain and frustration 
(not that I am particularly fond of being in pain but I am thankful that in it God is teaching me and drawing me to Himself).  Instead of moping around feeling sorry for myself (which I was starting to do, and I know I will keep struggling with as long as this persists), I am choosing to allow God to build in me during this time the answer to my own prayers.

If I look significantly more wrinkled and short the next time you see me, now you'll know why.

"The prayer of the feeblest saint on earth
who lives in the spirit and keeps right with God
is a terror to Satan.
The very powers of darkness are paralyzed by prayer...
No wonder Satan tries to keep our minds fussy in active work
till we cannot think in prayer."
- Oswald Chambers -

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