way too weak

Remember what I just wrote?

AUGH!

God please take over.

My kids are loosing it and I am right there with them.

First thing this morning I was awaken to screaming - as usual. So much screaming, in fact, the the neighbors in the apartment beside our building started looking out of their windows at us. Lovely - the stupid, noisy gringos who can't control their kids. Okay - that is just a problem with my pride... That isn't so important.

Now another MAJOR meltdown. I'm sure everyone around us thinks I am completely abusing my children (well, two of them) and that I am the worst parent in the world. Okay - pride again. Forget that.

How can children scream so much?

The amazing thing is how I screamed so little - totally a God thing. I managed, only because of Him, to pretty much keep my cool. If it was on my own strength, I probably would have squeezed them (one in particular) till their brains popped out.

The comical thing is that one delightful (said sarcastically) kept screaming "I want daddy, I wish daddy were home!". That is pretty hilarious. I mean, I want him home too, and I know the kids miss him, but seriously. If daddy were home, their punishments would definitely be more severe. Do they not have a clue how good they have it with mom here?

Yes, definitely comical.

It is so hard to know how much to give and take right now. They are under a lot of stress; so many changes. The battles, however, are the same ones as always....just a little more intense and definitely more frequent. I can't really blame them. They can't really get away from each other (and I certainly can't get away from them either). Life is really hard for them right now. But sheesh - they still need to be held accountable for how they treat each other right?

Right now they are chilling out in their rooms separately - the one main perpetrator is stuck in my room with nothing to do - for 55 minutes. It started out with 20 minutes but increased by 5 minutes with every complaint or scream.

I am so thankful for God's grace, wisdom and strength. I am weak, He is strong. I am foolish, He is wise.