getaway

Last weekend (Friday to Sunday... not the extra Monday for the long weekend), Eric and I took off for a much wanted and needed weekend.  Maddy was away at Youth Quake (I can't even begin to tell you how it delights the heart to have your kid come home from something like that so passionate about Jesus and serving Him.... that's good stuff, people) and the others went to Uncle Brent and Auntie Glenda's.
For my birthday Eric gave me a weekend at our brother-in-law's cabin.  I could have gone by myself (extremely tempting) but I kind of like having Eric around, so I took him too.  It was sooooo good.

Driving there, we saw a gorgeous sunset.  Through the slightly sparse trees, the sun was blocked enough that we could look directly at it - a great round glowing ball sinking over the horizon.  Not 5 minutes later, on the opposite horizon, the moon retaliated actions.  It looked the same size as the sun - huge - but a muted glowing pink that slowly rose.  Eric commented that if we were on a rise, we probably could have see the edge of one going down while the edge of the other came up.  It was amazing.

The cabin is great - simple but lovely.  We got snugged up for a cozy weekend of fires, snow, reading and watching olympics.

Saturday morning Eric made french toast.  He always makes it way better than I do.  I'm pretty sure that the reason for this is the extra cup of butter he uses to fry them.  And I really don't think I am exaggerating here.  Never underestimate the power of butter.

Usually I pray for large, softly falling flakes of snow..... my favourite.  And that is what happened in the morning.  Later when we went for a walk, the sky was bright blue but there was still snow.  Perhaps the light wind was just blowing individual flakes, but there was snow.  And it looked like a snow-globe.  Tiny little flakes, glittering and reflecting the sun floated down.  Not hard to see the snow on the ground glittering - that happens all the time (and always breath taking, in my opinion), but while it is falling?  Almost never.

Once we hit the lake (and saw what looked like hundreds of ice fishing shacks far out on the lake), I lay down for a snow angel and rested there a bit, looking up.  It was such an amazing sight.  Snow flakes falling distinctly seen against a perfect blue sky.  Awesome.

We also climbed around the side of the house in snow past our knees.  So great.  At night when I couldn't sleep (around 12:45 - 1:30 a.m.) I went outside and sat on the side of the deck in the deep snow.  It was so mild out and the moon was so bright (full), it was calling me to enjoy it in the silence of what felt like the whole-world-but-me-sleeping.  The highlight of my weekend.  It was awe-inspiring.

And how can you go wrong with a cute man (being your husband of course....), gorgeous weather, a real-wood fire stove, snow, silence and this:

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
The Original Illustrated Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
The Bible by God (totally non-fiction)
a journal from Marlo (sniff, sniff.... I miss her)
and
the movie Defiance.
Good stuff people.
When we got home and went to pick up the kids, they made it clear that they did not want to come home (I didn't have the heart to tell them that I didn't want to come home either).  They had a very good time.  They had just went outside to work on a snow fort (built with "bricks" from packed down ice chipped off from the driveway!).  We figured we'd join in with the fort building.  And while I thought I would have rather been snuggled up reading more good books, that was a pretty fun way to end our time!

trust

Trust in the Lord with all of you heart and do not rely on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

easter

More Easter to come soon.

I'm here

Yes, I have been strangely silent.

I'm a little overwhelmed with trying to catch up on the past two weeks or so

-especially with regards to our trip to the jungle.

So good.

So very good.

And that is why I haven't written.

So maybe tomorrow.

Although tomorrow I get to hang out at the hospital with a sweet little one-and-a-half year old orphan girl named

Karla.

She has been in intensive care for a few days, but is finally out and needs 24 hour assistance.

I'm pretty thrilled to be with her.

I think I'll spend a bunch of time reading Scripture to her in Spanish.

Good for me.

Good for her.

One other thing.

Been meaning to write this one for a while.

It has been scrawled on my chalkboard wall in the kitchen for a few weeks now.

Love reading it every day.

It is so good.

Every word of it.

(naturally, I suppose... it is, after all, God's Words)

Isaiah 33:5, 6

The Lord is exalted, for He dwells on high;

He will fill Zion with His justice and righteousness.

He sill be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge;

the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.

Every word is good.

I can hardly wait

I can hardly wait for His kingdom of Righteousness to come....

Isaiah 32:4

The fearful heart will know and understand, and THE STAMMERING TONGUE WILL BE FLUENT AND CLEAR.

Hallelujah!!!

personalizing

...I was by nature deserving of wrath. But because of His great love for me, God , who is rich in mercy, made me alive with Christ even when I was dead in transgressions - it is by grace I have been saved. And God raised me up with Christ and seated me with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to me in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace I have been saved, through faith - and this is not from myself, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For I am God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for me to do.

Ephesians 2: 4-10

The Horse and His Boy

Here is comes, and its a good one.

C.S. Lewis is one great author...

(I hope you can catch all this without reading the whole book, but then again, why not just read the whole book....or better yet, the whole series?)

Mia and I read this chapter last night, and yes, I cried through the whole section. It is a bit of a long quote, but bear with me.

It is chapter 11 and near the end of the book. The main character, Shasta, has been through a lot, completed (well, pretty much) his "mission" and now is lost, alone and very frustrated. Okay, well, he thought he was alone, but he isn't. He has discovered some Thing beside him and has begun talking to it. It says to Shasta "Tell me your sorrows."

And so Shasta begins:

"...he told how he had never known his real father or mother and had been brought up sternly by the fisherman. And then he told the story of his escape and how they were chased by lions and forced to swim for their lives; and of all their dangers in Tashbaan and about his night among to tombs and how the beasts howled at him out of the desert. And he told about the heat and thirst of their desert journey and how they were almost at their goal when another lion chased them and wounded Aravis. And also, how very long it was since he had had anything to eat.

"I do not call you unfortunate," said the Large Voice.

"Don't you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?" said Shasta.

"There was only one lion," said the Voice.

"What on earth do you mean? I've just told you there were at least two the first night, and-"

"There was only one: but he was swift of foot."

"How do you know?"

"I was the lion." And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. "I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you."

"Then it was you who wounded Aravis?"

"It was I."

"But what for?"

"Child," said the Voice, "I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own."

"Who are you?" asked Shasta.

"Myself," said the Voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook: and again "Myself," loud and clear and gay: and then the third time "Myself," whispered so softly you could hardly hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all round you as if the leaves rustled with it.

Shasta was no longer afraid that the Voice belonged to something that would eat him, not that it was the voice of a ghost. But a new and different sort of trembling came over him. Yet he felt glad too.

The mist was turning from black to gray and from gray to white. This must have begun to happen some time ago, but while he had been talking to the Thing he had not been noticing anything else. Now, the whiteness around him became a shining whiteness; his eyes began to blink. Somewhere ahead he could hear birds singing. He knew the night was over at last. He could see the mane and ears and head of his horse quite easily now. A golden light fell on them from the left. He thought it was the sun.

He turned and saw, pacing beside him, taller than the horse, a Lion. The horse did not seem to be afraid of it or else could not see it. It was from the Lion that the light came. No one ever saw anything more terrible or beautiful.

Luckily Shasta had lived all his life too far south in Calormen to have heard the tales that were whispered in Tashbaan about a dreadful Narnian demon that appeared in the form of a lion. And of course he knew none of the true stories about Aslan, the great Lion, the son of the Emperor-over-the-sea, King above all High Kings in Narnia. But after one glance at the Lion's face he slipped out of the saddle and fell at its feet. He couldn't say anything but then he didn't want to say anything, and he knew he needn't say anything."

If you have read any of my Narnia rantings before, you know that Aslan represents Jesus. And there are two things that I love most in this story. There is a crazy amount of symbolism and other pictures painted in this section alone, but I won't go into all of that.

First, like in other books, Jesus/Aslan deals with each person and their own story - and does not feel the need to share someone elses' story with anyone other than that person. Shasta asked about Aravis. Aslan, in His wisdom, said that He did not need to tell Shasta about His actions regarding Aravis because, simply, it was only between Him and Aravis (and that comes later....).

How often to I want to know why things happen - good or bad - to other people (and terribly, for me it is usually why good things happen to other people and not me.....because I am a wretchedly jealous person..... it has taken God 40 years to work through that one with me and I still have a long way to go. Good thing He is infinitely patient.)? And quite frankly, it is none of my business. I need to just deal with what He brings in my life and what He is trying to teach me through whatever blessing or obstacle that is there. I can be (and should be) thankful for the good things that happen to others - and praise Him for it. I can be (and should be) concerned for the bad things that happen to others - and pray to Him for it and help in whatever way I can. But it is not for me to know why they are "blessed" and I am not, or why they have been given a challenge and I haven't. It is between them and Him. Sheesh, half the time it is not for us to know why these things even happen to ourselves. I just have to trust that He knows and plans the best for my life.

Second, I love love love the picture of how God was there, through everything - guiding, directing, comforting, protecting..... but several of those situations were the very things that caused anxiety for Shasta (and his traveling companions). It was through the use of fear that He brought two groups of people together for mutual benefit (I won't explain - you'll just have to read it); it was through fear again that caused Shasta to reach his goal on time; it was through the unexplainable that He comforted Shasta and protected him; and it was Him who saved his life as a baby - a life he complained about but wouldn't have had if Aslan hadn't saved him.

All these things I complain about - fears, pain, weird and frustrating things and just life in general. But do I know the story behind all of these "difficult" things? Why do I assume, like Shasta did, that they were just bad things. I want to learn to see Jesus in all of these things - and to trust Him, that everything He does is because of His great love for me, and ultimately for His glory.

Oh Lord, give me the eyes to see You in all of life's circumstances, good or bad - to see how You work to guide, direct, comfort, protect and LOVE me.

And some day, we ALL will see Him, slip out of the saddle, and fall at His feet.

Isaiah 2:22

Stop trusting in human beings,

who have but a breath in their nostrils.

Why hold them in esteem?

GOD

alone.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

I have a whole lot of things that I want to blog about - like my procrastinating finishing my daughter's soda bottle chandelier (it is a very tedious project - hopefully fun and cute and all, but very tedious), Sunday at Casa G., my starting Spanish lessons today (did I forget everything?), etc.

But once again, I am so loving Narnia. I've limited my rantings and delvings to once per book so far - not sure if I can keep it limited like that for the whole 7 book series, but I'll try to not go overboard.

So Mia and I are onto the Dawn Treader (very excited about the movie coming out - only hoping that it will be English with subtitles instead of dubbed in Spanish..... and I'm a little teeny bit nervous about what they will, inevitably, change from the book.).

Anywho....

In Chapter 6, Eustace (what a very unfortunate name!) turns into a dragon. He found a dragon's hoard, and being the selfish, down-right rotten boy he was, claimed it as his own. As a result of this, he turned into a dragon. Of course, this ends up being a good thing as he starts to turn from being a complete jerk to someone much more kind.... it is really too bad he didn't get a name change to better suit his nicer personality - kinda like Abram to Abraham, Saul to Paul, that kind of thing....

Okay, focus, Carla.

So he is a dragon.

In Chapter 7, Eustace has an encounter with Aslan and is changed back into a boy. Aslan told him to "undress"; to take off his dragon-self. It sounded like a fairly easy thing to do.

Well, Eustace does. Or, rather, he tries. He takes off his dragon skin, walks away from it, only to discover that he is still a dragon. He tries again, and again,... each attempt with no more progress than before.

Finally, Aslan tells him "You will have to let me undress you", so in fear of the pain but with desperation, Eustace lies down and lets him. This is what happens:

"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off...... he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there I was as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been." Eustace was a boy once again.

Isn't this just like Christ does with us?

I can make as many attempts as I want to change myself to be something better. I try to do all I can in my power to get rid of my ugliness, my ick, my dark, knobbly sin, but I can't get rid of it. I may feel slightly better initially after an attempt, but I just end up being the same old dragon. Alone, I simply can not get rid of my "old self".

But Christ can.

He can undress us out of our old, thick, dark, ugly sinful self and make us something new. It will/does hurt. He has to tear deep, dig into our hearts and it will hurt worse than anything. But then He will remove it and He will dress us in our "new self".

Now, just like Eustace wasn't instantly a perfect person, we won't be either. But because he knew where he had come from, he worked at his new self. And he hated being a dragon.

Again it is the same with us in Christ. Yes, He peels away all our crud and gives us newness, but we still have to work, with His strength, to stay away from our dragonish tendencies. It won't always be easy and sometimes it might be easier to be a dragon, but we are new and beautiful in Him.

One other thing.

Our sinfulness, our old self, our dragon that He gets rid of for us? If we turn around and look at it, will truly be thicker, darker, and more knobbly-looking than what we ever attempted to remove on our own. I think that is like my sin. I often don't think I really get how awful it is. Do I see it for what it is - a gross ugly mass that was weighing me down and making me a dragon?

If we don't let Christ dig away at our sin, I don't think we will ever realize how horrible our sin really is. And even though I am writing all of this and love this illustration that C. S. Lewis gives, I'm not sure that I really get how horrible my sin is - past and present.

I am much too cavalier when it come to sin.

I think if I really did get it, it would cause me to fall on my knees a whole lot more, surrender myself a whole lot more fully to the power and righteousness of Christ, and turn away.... no run away, from sin.

And I think that if we get it, if we let Him remove our yuck, we will see that we really are smaller than we were, or at least thought we were... just like Eustace. Humility, through seeing how wretched we are apart from Jesus, will do that to a person!

Good thing God is patient with me, and gives me the grace everyday to start over. And regardless of whether I am having a real dragonish day, He still sees me as a new person, through Christ, His righteousness and His work.

Thank you Lord!

The Chronicles of Narnia

"I'm sorry," said Lucy. "You don't mean it was? How could I - I couldn't have left the others and come up to you alone, how could I? Don't look at me like that... oh well, I supposed I could. Yes, and it wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with you. But what would have been the good?"

Aslan said nothing.

"You mean," said Lucy rather faintly, "that it would have turned out all right - somehow? But how? Please, Aslan! Am I not to know?"

"To know what would have happened, child?" said Aslan. "No. Nobody is ever told that."

"Oh dear," said Lucy.

"But anyone can find out what will happen," said Aslan. "If you go back to the others now, and wake them up;and tell them you have seen me again; and that you must all get up at once and follow me - what will happen? There is only one way of finding out."

"Do you mean that is what you want me to do?" gasped Lucy.

"Yes, little one," said Aslan.

"Will the others see you too?" asked Lucy.

"Certainly not at first," said Aslan. "Later on, it depends."

"But they won't believe me!" said Lucy.

"It doesn't matter," said Aslan.

This little gem is out of the second (I repeat, second book... as in the second one that you should read.... after the first one, which is The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe) book, "Prince Caspian". Once again filled with fabulous gems teaching me so much about life, Jesus, His ways and His power.

I could write for a long long time about several different things on this little section alone. There are all kinds of nuggets of goodness in here!!

The one that stands out the most to me at the moment is the last line that was quoted.

"It doesn't matter," said Aslan.

Lucy knew she needed to do something she didn't want to do because, in part, she didn't want to do alone - with out her friends, family. At first she thought she couldn't do it alone, but with one look at Aslan, she knew that she could have.

Sometimes, well, most times, it really stinks having to do the right thing when no one else will do it. Or if everyone else thinks you are crazy. Or to speak the truth when no one will believe it.

But when you know it is right, you know that He is with you and it really doesn't matter about the others. It would be great if they believed. It would be great if they followed too. It would be wonderful if they saw that you weren't crazy but believed the truth for what it is, whether it made sense to them completely or not.

Usually that doesn't happen.

Often we have to go alone.

Maybe, just maybe, later they will see, too.

Lucy said "But what would have been the good?"

That didn't matter either.

We don't need to analyze. We need to obey.

(sounds like something I tell my kids)

It is about faith.

Trusting that God has the best in mind for us even if we don't understand the reason or the possible result.

Just like I want my kids to have faith in my instructions. Because I want what is best for them. I want to protect them. They need to trust me.

I need to trust Him.

It doesn't matter what others will say. It doesn't matter what others will do.

It matters only that I

trust,

follow,

obey.

Psalm 18 - a smattering

I love you, O Lord, my strength!
You are my Rock, my Fortress, and my Deliverer;
You, my God, are my Rock, in whom I take refuge.
You are my Shield adn the horn of my salvation, my Stronghold!
I call to You, O Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies!
You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning;
You turn my darkness into light.
With Your help I can advance against a troop;
with You, my God, I can scale a wall!
As for You,my God, Your way is perfect;
Your Word is flawless.
You are a shield for all who take refuge in You.

Oh, Narnia, I love you

This really doesn't have anything to do with our life and work in Ecuador.

Is that okay?

One of the greatest pleasures I have each day is reading to my kids. Especially reading chapter books.

I love the time together, snuggling up and getting into a good story line.... ending a chapter right before bed, wondering what is going to happen in the story when we read the next day. Love it.

Mia and I just starting reading The Chronicles of Narnia. The best books in the whole wide world, as far as I'm concerned. In fact, that is why I wanted to name Lucy, Lucy. I know I have read the whole series through at minimum 12 times and I think that is a modest estimate. And it is great because I have four kids! I've read them to Maddy twice already (she has officially outgrown the mom-reading-to-me-before-bed-stage... sniff, sniff). But if I read it to each kid twice through - that is definitely six more times I get to read them - out loud.

And there is nothing like reading it out loud. I'd read it out loud to myself but my family already has enough concern over my level of sanity. I don't get all crazy trying to give each character their own voice or anything nutty like that, but I feel it more when it is voiced.

I'm thinking that if maybe we have two more kids or so, I can get another good three to four readings out of the deal. Good idea, right?

The stories are just sumptuous. Scrumpdilliumptious, even. No matter what age you are - they are just darn good reading.

Just a warning: Some day I might just go off about how recent publishers have changed the order of the books to be chronological. No, no, no!!! That is not how they are supposed to be read... but that is another whole topic.

But then the whole thing of the spiritual significance. Oh my goodness, could it be better? Love the pictures of Christ through Aslan. There is a very good chance that in the next few months (or however long it takes us to get through them) you would be reading a great deal about these books.

Today we read (from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) chapter eight, where they first introduce Aslan. Susan asks if Aslan is safe and says "I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion." Mrs. Beaver replies with "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly." And Mr. Beaver says "'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

That is God. And if we don't have our knees knocking when we meet Him, or think of meeting Him, I think we are just plain stupid. We must not really get who He is.

He isn't safe. I mean, in terms of Him being our Refuge, our Protector, our Shield and Comforter, yes, He is more "safe" than we can imagine - if we belong to Him. We are safe to be real and honest with Him. But I think I, along with the vast majority of the world, have a way way too cavalier attitude/picture of Him. We don't fear Him, and that is a scary place to be. In many ways, God isn't safe. If we don't claim our forgiveness under Christ - we are not safe at all. If we don't regard His ways and Holiness, safety should be one of the furthest things in our mind. His judgement is just, but safe? Hmmm, I don't think so.

I'm sure many people are very uncomfortable with talk like this as the word "safe" is exactly what they think that God should be. And again, keep in mind how He is safe. But I think mostly people aren't comfortable with this talk is because we just want to talk about His love, His mercy, His grace, the gifts that He gives and how amazing it is that we can have a relationship and friendship with Him.

It always comes back to balance in my books. We have to hold both in equal view. We can't focus on either. God is like the ultimate Father (well, not just like him, He IS the Ultimate Father). The best kind of father plays with his kids, laughs with them, talks with them and shows his love for them by enjoying them and allowing them to fully enjoy him. But the best kind of father also wants to train their child to be a responsible, respectable adult. The best kind of father wants to keep their child from danger, not necessarily from pain, but from damaging danger. So that father disciplines when needed. And when the child disobeys, they are afraid to have their dad find out. Their knees knock together, so to speak, because of the respectful fear. They don't feel safe in many ways. And if the child has complete disregard for their father - trouble! Yet the child of the best kind of father would know, deep down, that they are safe because they are sure of their father's love for them.

If the father just instills fear in their child - bad. If the father just plays and talks with their child - bad. Both are needed.

And both are ultimately found in our Ultimate Father.

In the end, I kind of feel like Peter, who says about meeting Aslan "I'm longing to see him, even if I do feel frightened when it comes to that point."

2 Cor. 12:9

Two days ago, during my short quiet time before bed, I read this in my "Praying God's Word Day by Day" by Beth Moore. It, by the way, is a wonderful guide and help.... highly recommend.

She says "Our bridegroom sometimes leads us to difficult places, but we can trust Him to have purpose in our stay and never to forsake us."

The we pray through Ps. 107:13, Ps. 57:2-3, 2 Cor 12:9 and Heb 13:5. Such a comfort.

My favorite: His power is made perfect in my weakness.

His power is really being perfected right now, because I am feeling awfully weak. Sometimes, when realizing that the spiritual is so much more important than the physical, I am so thankful for my weaknesses. It simply means that I finally get out of the way and God can be that much stronger and present in me.... as long as I step aside (something I am not very good at, however!).

I just want my weakness to exploit His strength. If I am going to be so powerless in all of the struggles that I am going through right now, I may as well do what makes the most sense: throw my hands up, admit that I am no good at any of this, and let Him take over. And then? Success. More than I could imagine or understand.

The main problem: I keep wanting to figure it out on my own. And then? Failure.

Lord, please, please help me to call it quits and depend on You.

Psm 25: 4,5

Show me your ways, LORD,

teach me your paths.

Guide me in your truth and teach me,

for you are God my Savior,

and my hope is in you all day long.