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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

bad influence

I didn't realize what a bad influence I am on my kids until Eric got back from his trip.  While he was gone I made up several different songs on several different occasions.....  When he got back, they shared all of the songs with him.  Hmmmm.   Perhaps I'm not "mother of the year" (shocking, I know).
I cooked beans that one day - I think I mentioned how they made the house stink so bad.  Well, when I was cooking them I also taught the kids the little ditty "beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot".
Another day we were talking about the school musical that some of Maddy's friends were in (they did Godspell - it was great!).  She told us that one of her friends complained that another one of their friends, Bobby, kept sticking his butt in her face on stage.  I said "How, Bobby doesn't have a butt?" (he is very very skinny.... but an extremely nice and fun guy, so we don't hold it against him).  The kids thought that was pretty funny, so encouraged by their laughter, I started singing "Bobby, the buttless wonder...." to the tune of "Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer".  We heard that song for days afterwards.
Finally, one other day, the kids and I were walking to school and were talking about hippies.  They were wondering why anyone would want to be a hippy (no, I have no clue as to how or why this conversation came up).  For some reason I started saying "Hi.  My name's Hippy.  My mom's Hippy, my dad's Hippy, even my dog's Hippy.  One day, my momma said, Hippy, why don't you ever do the peace sign?  And I said, I do!  See?" (the original is "Chubby" instead of "Hippy" and "why don't you ever smile" instead of "do the peace sign".  And then you squish your cheeks together and smile...).  Well, later that day, they were saying this little what-ever-it-is ('cause its not really a song I guess) and came up with several other versions.... and laughing hysterically.  I again did my foul thing as a mother when one of them said "Hi, my name is Cheese....."  and I said "Why don't you ever cut the cheese?"... followed by cutting the cheese noises.  Yes, I'm so mature.
 Some versions:
Hippy - giving the peace sign:
Cheese, cutting the cheese:
A close relative of Cheese, is Bean (made up by Cade):
Lucy's "Hi, my name is Starlight...."
She did the whole, my mom's Starlight, my dad's....  and then said "Starlight, why don't you ever kick a soccer ball?"  WHAT?  Mia, Cade and I went into fits of laughter trying to figure out where that came from.  Then Mia suggested "Starlight why don't you ever shine?"  Here they are shining:
And another of Cade's:  "Hi, my name is Disco Ball...."
"Disco Ball, why don't you ever shake your booty?"  "And I said, I do!  See?":

So, after all this, I think its best for Eric not to ever leave again.  They are not safe with me.

In other news....
Is vanity nurture or nature or neither?
For the past few months the vanity of one certain 7-year-old (almost 8! yikes!) has been steadily increasing.  She takes a very long time in the mornings deciding what to wear and can often be found laying out entire outfits to see how they look.  How does this happen?
She also had a very small, pale red dot on her face for a few days and wanted concealer on it every morning.  Of course there often hair issues often as well.  My outfits, hair, etc. fall under her scrutiny almost daily, too.  Considering she believes a hot pink shrug, coral skirt and dirty, worn out Ugg-type boots is the cool thing to wear, I'm not putting a lot of stock in her critiques!
At least getting ready for school every morning isn't dull.  No, definitely not dull.

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